The first
question we had when we found out we were pregnant was this: when do we tell?
The summer
we found out we were pregnant, my brother was getting married and everyone was
going to be there. I told Sunday that I
thought we should tell everyone then.
Very convenient, since we live about seven hours away from my nearest
relative.
Silence
from Sunday. I have learned that silence
means that she wants me to ask what she’s thinking. Repeatedly.
“What do
you think?” I asked (about 78 times).
“I was
wondering what your brother would think,” she answered
“He’ll be
thrilled,” I interrupted.
“What I
mean is, what will he think, giving this news on his special weekend?” Then, it hit me. We weren’t flying to my brother’s house to
announce that we were pregnant. We were
going to celebrate his marriage.
Everyone was going to be there, just not for my convenience. It was for them, not us. Sunday was right.
We decided
not to tell everyone, but I did want him to know. So on the airplane, I wanted to write a note
to Joe that he could read while he was on his honeymoon, telling him about his
new responsibilities as an uncle. So, I
did what many people have done, I think.
I pulled out the air sickness bag and penned my note. Sunday was sleeping while I was crafting my
message, but she woke up just in time to sign it.
“Why am I
signing an air sickness bag?”
“This is
the note for Joe and Kim, telling them we’re expecting.”
“You wrote
it on this?”
“I didn’t have
anything else.”
At this
point, Sunday looked at me, realizing that I was really excited about sending
the note on a vomit bag. She was not as
excited. She knew that the vomit bag
idea was funny, but not necessarily the classiest idea in the world. She also knew that our child’s birth deserved
a better announcement, but she signed the bag anyway. No complaints. No rolling of the eyes. No nothing.
There are plenty of people who would have complained about that bag from
the time I showed it to her until the time she could complain about it to her
grandchildren. She understood my
excitement and she trusted me.
Before we
got to Joe’s house, however, God had a better plan than one either Sunday or I
could have imagined. We didn’t know it, but my younger brother,
Luke, had already gone to Joe to ask if it was ok to announce that his wife was pregnant with their second
child during the wedding weekend. Without
telling anyone, Joe gave the ok for Luke to announce that they were expecting.
So there we
were, all relaxing in Joe’s living room, watching some sports event. Luke waited until a commercial came on—very
important—and then said, “Hey, everybody.
Faith and I wanted to tell you that we’re pregnant.”
At this
point, I looked at Sunday and she looked at me.
In the midst of the yelling and shouting and crying, we were shocked. My older brother was getting married to a
beautiful, intelligent woman, my younger brother and his wife were going to
have another very-cute child, and we were in the midst of them, with our own
little secret.
I could
have lived in that five seconds the rest of my life.
She raised
her eyebrow in a question. I knew what
she was asking. She wanted to tell. Right then.
Throwing out our plan.
In response
to her unspoken question, I nodded my head.
Then,
Sunday asked, “When’s your due date?”
Luke answered, “February 1st.”
Sunday replied, “Well ours is two weeks later.”
The room
erupted again. There were fresh tears,
joining the ones that had dried. Hugs,
kisses and shouts. We had told my
family and they were thrilled. Joe and
Kim were glad.
Later, I
asked Joe if the timing of our announcement was right. He told me it was perfect. In fact, he would have been disappointed if
he hadn’t told them before they went on their honeymoon. Sunday was right. Even if it didn’t match with our plan. She was perfect. It wasn’t going to be the last time that she would
take control of the situation, change the plan and create a situation to
celebrate. She was only two months
along, but she was developing into a parent.
Right there in my brother’s living room.
She recognized that the plan didn’t fit the situation and she was
flexible enough to realize it. Yet, her
flexibility did not supersede our agreement.
She asked. I answered. We both ended up with the right message.
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